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Monday, December 31, 2007 @9:37:00 AM
♥ aelispeaks:
yeah yeah. happy new year and all. blah blah blah.
do you ever get the feeling that you just wanna be loved? like you just want to feel good about yourself.
and you want to hear that person say it. but everytime you give him a chance to he just disappoints you over and over again. until you have to imagine that even the slightest 'haha' at a thing you said was his way of showing his feelings.
and trust me. a person can go mad trying to scrimp out things and feelings that aren't even there.
you can be feeling so down and sad. then you talk to that person and you hope that he'll cheer you up. but what he says just hurts you more. and the worse thing is, he doesn't even realize it. or even if he does...he doesn't care.
there's so many things i wanna say to him. how he makes me feel...furious at times but confused...mostly.
if he doesn't feel anything for me anymore why can't he just say it? why does he have to make me imagine and hope and pray just to be disappointed again and again.
and i try to ignore him.
to not think about him.
to not talk to him.
but it doesn't work. if i don't have anything to concentrate on my mind wanders to him. what he's doing...what he's thinking...how he feels. but he just wont show anything.
sometimes i ask myself why do i even bother.
honestly, i dont know myself.
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