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Hello
this is : AELIS WORLD
welcome to the warped side of life.
enjoy(:
Profile
i am AELIS
aka SILEA
i love the FRENCH HORN & TRUMPET and the CELLO!
i love STCBAND! many instruments, one sound. many sections, one family!
i love the HORNS & TRUMPETS! GO HORNIES & TRUMPETERS!
i am currently in sec 4 ATOMIC! watch out, we'll blow you away!
i was born on ohfive onetwo ninefour. presents are always welcome(:
i am taking part in CHINGAY 2010! look out for me!
Tagboard
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Friday, April 25, 2008 @6:06:00 AM
♥ aelispeaks:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PARVEEN!!!!! (:
WE LOVE YOU :D
ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY!
AND STAY HAPPY ALWAYS!
haha. today we celebrated parveen's birthday. everyone was going 'happy birthday parveen' and she was like 'IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY!!!' hahahaha. but me and sueann rock man. we got her the bestest best best present EVER. presentS actually (:
cheers parveen. happy birthday.
Monday, April 21, 2008 @8:49:00 AM
♥ aelispeaks:
how can one person, just by words hurt me so much.
don't be nice to me when i cry cos it just makes you worse when you're not.
11.50 21/04/08
Sunday, April 20, 2008 @11:32:00 PM
♥ aelispeaks:
i just did a tabulation of my songs. i have...drumroll please....
twelve.
yep. twelve. 2 unfinished. so...ten plus half plus half = eleven actually. but whatever. my songs usually have something to do with my life. except for a few that i just felt like writing. but yeah. my close friends would know what was happening from my songs.
1.
Why is it that whenever i want it to rain
to wash away my pains
into the drain,
it never does?
And when i stop wishing
'cos there's no use hoping
for rain, that little something,
it pours down on me like a curse?
Why do we let ourselves be critiqued by others,
by all those fuddy dudders
who hide behind their fake smiles.
it's like they're keeping a 'you' file
everything bad is talked about for days,
but anything good is simply brushed away.
Have they all been cursed
to see only the worst
in everyone but themselves?
they all think they're so great
and have the rights to rate
and make people's lives into hells.
I do all i can for my friends,
they deposit all their problems into my hands.
but when i can't help
they throw me aside like i never felt
hurt when they said 'why don't you go on home'
and meant 'just leave us alone'
Are these the people whom i call friends?'
cos sometimes they treat me like a fiend.
they make me wanna say to the world, bye.
i think I'll just go die.
2.
i wish i could fly
to my troubles i'd say bye.
all those i cared about,
and all those who pushed me out
i'll leave them for a place
and live alone for all my days
no cliques, no populars.
no bitching, no losers.
all i'll have is the sky,
and me, myself and i.
no more perfect little child
no more caring about styles.
no more running
no more hiding
i'll scream jump run
till the day's done
i'll do what i wanna do
and stop when i want to
i'll sleep all day and play all night,
do what i think is right.
i know that's just dreamland,
but i'll do what i can
i'm already partway there
so there's not much left to bear.
even at home,i'm alone
i'm like a maid
they wish i was dead
and sometimes...i do too
but i gotta keep living, keep staying strong
cos i know taking a life is just wrong.
it's written in the Bible.
the strongest for survival.
you may not be happy at my arrival,
but i gotta stay strong, and move along.
i gotta tell myselfgoing away to dreamland won't help,
you gotta save yourself,
and i ain't gonna say nothing else.
3.
i wanna slap you more than her
i wondered if we were friends, you said der.
but what's happening now?
it's almost like we had a row
you're completely leaving me
tho you know i just can't bealone for long.
i'll start to shut down, to go wrong
my breath comes fast
in a frenzy to find you, rush rush rush.
then when i finally do, you act like everything's cool
then you suddenly talk to the nerd
she's so soft she's barely heard.
a month ago you were totally ignoring her
upon sight, you went 'ee-yer'
right now you've got a new pet
she's your runner, your rat.
who was there for you
when there was nothing you could do
who was it
ask yourself, think for a bit.
use your brain for once
and stop this stupid childish dance
between friends and fiends
who shared your losses, your wins?
i wanna slap you both, but first i'll swear an oath
to slap you more than her.
4.
I never really felt anything for you
i just wanted it so bad i told myself i do.
but now it's over, and you're free to go to her.
i guess all i was was an excuse,
just something you used
to show off how popular you were
with her, her and her.
i was so in love that i didn't notice
all i wanted was that first kiss.
instead or coming right out,
you lead me about
on a stupid idiotic dance
without giving me a chance
to see what a jerk you were.
were and are.
you said you weren't sad,
thinking it might make me feel bad.
well, it didn't.
never would nor couldn't.
i realized something
that once you know; you'll feel like a king.
now that we're no longer...
you know, together,
you're free to date,
without me turning you into shark bait,
i guess I’ve made you happy,
instead of feeling crappy.
oh well,
you can go burn in hell
for all i care, honestly.
but i still don't know why i was so silly
to fall for you,
of all people, you!
5.
what do i have to do for you
to look my way for a moment or two
things were going along perfectly
'till you said you needed to talk to me.
you said you couldn't hurt me
and that we couldn't let things be
well guess what, you did hurt me
and i cried the whole night, in pain and expectancy
for you to call me up again and say
i'm sorry, i love you for forever and a day
but you didn't call,
not at all.
we were at least i was so in love,
i was on cloud nine, maybe way above.
but then you had to say that,
that that made me feel so down, so bad.
you pulled me out and threw me down,
in a sea of emotions i drowned.
you told me not to cry,
when to our relationship you said bye
what kind of fool are you,
to think i'd actually be able not to?
i prayed so hard last night
wanting for everything to be alright.
why did you have to end it all
leaving me aside like some old rag doll?
i loved you, you said you loved me
so why couldn't leave things be?
if you didn't feel much for me,
why'd you call me your baby
i've been led on before,
then, in my face, he slammed the door.
was this just revenge, payback
for all the things i lacked?
or for how i broke your friend's heart.
well, you tore mine apart,
so thanks very much.
you say you miss a 'she'
do i even dare to dream that it's me?
don't think so.
oh yeah, by the way,
let's still stay friends ok?
6.
you said it was your fault
and explained it all, clear like a lightning
you didn't wanna hurt me,
but that kindness i couldn't see.
so now i'm sorry,
and hoping you'll accept my apology.
i was simply selfish,
wanting every single petty wish
and when i didn't get it,
i bit off your head
i got angry,
and the person to blame is me.
so, like i said,
don't wish you were dead.
cos my heart'd break
as easy as porcelain, baked.
i know we're over
but i still feel for you, like duh.
so please, forgive me
even though we can't be
you may say there's nothing to forgive
but forgiveness goes two ways
at least for me anyways.
so think about what I’ve said
but don't hurt your head.
if you fall sick again,
i'll throw you off the building with a crane.
7.
I watch the rain
Flowing down the window
And I feel the pain
That I feel
When I think of you…
I need a superman
But all I’ve got is me
No one knows the me inside
I’m not as happy as I seem
It’s like I’m the imperfection
In an otherwise perfect world
Everything I do is for attention?
Please. Don’t make me hurl.
I need a superman
But all I’ve got is me
All I want to do is
Be what I want to be
8.
Don’t stop just because your heart is broken;
Don’t wait for things that will never be spoken.
Keep up life will never stop to wait.
Stand up It’s not the end, build a new fate.
But don’t forget about all the memories.
But remember that’s all they are, just hazy dreams.
They can never be replaced inside your heart.
But you can make new ones, make a new start.
Just because it did not work out between you two.
Doesn’t mean it will never work out for you.
There is a whole world full of people to meet.
So stand and go out and walk on your two feet.
Everything happens for a reason.
Even all the evil doings and treason.
Life goes on you’ll live to see a new day.
You’ll find another and in their arms you’ll lay.
You’ll realize you had to loose what you had before.
To find what you had really been searching for,
You’ll be so much happier then you ever were back then.
So don’t cry, life goes on and you will be happy again.
9.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me
There’s something deep inside you see
It makes me want to do bad things
I’ve stained my once white angel wings
My job handed to me from god himself
Was to keep you happy and in good health
That’s my job as your Guardian angel
So what is wrong with me pray tell?
I want to keep you happy and I want to keep you safe
But for some reason I’m starting to loose my faith
Faith in myself and what I believe
And I no longer want to breathe
I’d rather die than make you sad
So unless I can stop being bad
Stop this force inside my heart
I’m afraid, my love, it’s time we part.
Times have been so hard lately; I feel I’d lost myself
I’d been thinking oh so selfishly and left you up on a shelf
You were so out of my reach and I couldn’t bear to try
To reach you ‘coz it seemed like you would only make me cry
I was drowning in my own life, a sea of problems and fears
But I forgot how you were always there to wait and dry my tears
I was acting so conceited, I was acting so depressed
It must have been so hard for you, you could easily have left
But you always stood right by me, having faith in my missing heart
When the day came that I found myself, tears did quickly start
I felt so ashamed and sorry, but at the same time renewed
I promise I’ll pay you back someday but for now I say, Thank you.
10.
A song is just not a song
Without music and words to go along
A mirror’s not a mirror if it does not show reflection
I compass is not a compass if it does not show direction
A light is just not a light
When it does not shine bright
A clock is not a clock when it does not tell the time
A ruler not a ruler if it does not make a straight line
The sky is just not the sky
Without the sun and clouds up high
A wedding is not a wedding when you do not have the ring
A birds is not a bird when it does not have its wings
And Love just is not Love without someone with whom to share
Love is just not love when one person just does not care
Love is just not love when one person makes the other cry
Love is just not Love when one person always lies
That’s why I’m leaving you I’ve had enough
And what we have is just not Love
A story is not a story when it has no words
A voice is not a voice when it cannot be heard
A person is not a person when it does not have a soul
Everything has parts that make it a whole
You can’t have Love when one person doesn’t
11.
Nights ago, barely Monday
I slashed my wrists…hey.
I didn’t expect the blade to be so sharp
Or for it to hurt so much
But compared to what I felt just then
It doesn’t really hurt…or maybe I’m round the bend.
When I didn’t see blood
I thought it was a dud
Like all the other times.
Then the blood started to flow
Gently, on it, I started to blow.
Then the pain came
It hurt like when needles rain
All upon my skin
I swept everything into the bin
It hurt so much
I can’t even touch
it, for fear I burst out in pain.
Again.
then on Tuesday, i did it again
this time there wasn't so much pain.
or maybe it was because i was getting numb
or i was just being dumb.
i really don't know anymore
life is becoming even more of a bore
now even the funniest joke
weighs on my shoulders like a yoke
that i can never again remove.
Then the blood started to flow
Gently, on it, I started to blow.
Then the pain came
It hurt like when needles rain
All upon my skin
I swept everything into the bin
It hurt so much
I can’t even touch
it, for fear I burst out in pain.
Again.
Wednesday, i was getting worse.
i felt like i was going to burst
all my emotions
just crying out for attention
but not getting any
not even from my favourite teddy
all of them, i had to hide
from the outside
on which i appeared to have none.
then the blood started to flow
Gently, on it, I started to blow.
Then the pain came
It hurt like when needles rain
All upon my skin
I swept everything into the bin
It hurt so much
I can’t even touch
it, for fear I burst out in pain.
Again.
tonight, Thursday.
i stared at the scissors till i started to fray
i shook my head and grabbed them
and dragged it across my skin like slicing ham
but this time round, i somehow couldn't do it.
it did bleed, but just a tiny bit
tiny drops of blood on my skin
made me wanna plunge the scissors in
deep. but i couldn't.
12.
Pushed to the ground
By the other kids
Got kicked around
Nowhere she could have hid
But she always got up
Her hair a thick veil
And her hands cupped
To catch the black tears of evil
She was among white swans
a little sparrow so brown
and so she had to run
Get out of town
She had a gift
that made people’s hair curl
all it was was a rift
between her and the world
8, 9 and 10 don't really have anything to do with what happened in my life. i just wrote them. but the rest are all things that really happened. or close to. and i just realized i'm super showing off and have 3 hours to do 2 maths test papers. die. HELLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.
zero2.five3 two1/zero4/zero8
@9:01:00 PM
♥ aelispeaks:
i wrote more of my song!
Pushed to the ground
By the other kids
Got kicked around
Nowhere she could have hid
But she always got up
Her hair a thick veil
And her hands cupped
To catch the black tears of evil
She was among white swans
a little sparrow so brown
and so she had to run
Get out of town
She had a gift
that made people’s hair curl
all it was was a rift
between her and the world
so emo right? haha. but it's kinda nice. still slowly thinking. btw it's COPYRIGHTED. ^^ thankyouverymuch.
anyway.
i'm supposed to be doing maths. oops. haha. ok i'll go do it now. see ya!
1two.0seven 2one/0four/0eight
@5:25:00 AM
♥ aelispeaks:
i just found out that i was 'forgotten' cos unlike the rest of the world i don't revolve around someone, rather i revolve around what i think is more worth it. but whatever i don't want to start a fight.
funfair sucked like hell.
besides bern, the other 5 ppl who i paid tickets for didn't turn up. i used to have 80++ bucks. now i have ten. also cos i spent the remainder on brownie mix which i used to make 120 brownies of which one box was sold to mr francis thankyouverymuch and the rest sold for 3 for a dollar at the last half hour.
at least my mom doesn't have to worry about me running away now that i'm broke.
really i was tempted to occationally. those who know me know when.
anyway. the dj booth was so fun. not. well it was ok. but stress. but still fun. ok i'm crapping. lala. we had about...200 dedications. we read about...60. LOL. sorry to all those we didn't read out...there was really no time.
blame the...cheerleading and bellydancing and...what else? you know. all the stuff that interupted the music. i knew we should have just left it on 987. FREE DJS. but whatever.
at the end of the thing after going round and round screaming 'BROWNIES 2 FOR A DOLLAR' and later 'BROWNIES 3 FOR A DOLLAR' and later 'SWEETS SWEETS' and later 'FREE SWEETS FREEEEEEE SWEETS' i was emoing in the band room behind the bongo thingos. next to the chimes and drumset. and close to the hornbox. and freezing from the aircon but not bothering to move.
serena said my brownies were good. but too filling. yay. i know. i have a whole box of broken bits that i have to finish and one nice brownie left. anyone wants it? and miss tan totally insulted me. she refused to eat. whatever. Joseph house lost. HA. no offence to any joseph hose people it's just that she called joseph her house cos it's j. -.-
the moon's full. and orange. but right now when it should be in full view from my bed where i'm doing this it's blocked by the clouds. stupid.
oh yeah. sorry to all the people i asked to come to the funfair but i totally ignored cos there was so much to do at the dj booth. i got so absorbed. haha. yeah. but i'm glad you came. (=
and finally the real reason for doing this post. i was just humming some tune the other day and suddenly came up with lyrics. just a bit cos it's not done.
She was among white swans
A little sparrow so brown
And so she had to run
Get out of town
She had a gift
That made people’s hair curl
But all it was was a rift
Between her and the world
and that's about it so far. anyway i have to go now. good luck to everyone for SAs. soon.
zero8.four3 two0/zero4/zero8
Saturday, April 05, 2008 @9:28:00 PM
♥ aelispeaks:
if. let's say. you have to do a project. and if you win you get to go to america. so yeah, it's a big deal.
but you have other responsibilities, like tuition and cca that you already made a commitment to way before the project. and because of these responsibilities, you can't contribute much to the project, tho you want to. and your groupmates need you to be at the meetings so that you can be 'up to date'.
but you can't. because of those responsibilites.
so. now, my question for you.
should you give up all those commitments and just say 'oh it's only for a while until this project is over. it'll all be fine.'
or will you say 'no, i made these commitments first i can't just give everything up for one project. i can try to make time for the project but if it clashes then the commitments i made first should have higher priority.'
peer presure is stressful.
and i'm not blaming anyone. i'm just saying. if i can't, it means i can't. i want to do well for this as much as anyone.
you think i'm just slacking off and being a bother. fine. next time if i can't cope i'll say no.
but even then you just can't blame it all on me and say i'm holding back the group. if i can't make it then it doesn't mean you have to wait. how i'll catch up is my problem not yours, cos i'm the one who keeps skipping.
and anyway when we meet up, for the first hour or so, we'll keep talking. even you know that. and maybe in that one hour, we'll decide on one thing. then we'll play around for another half hour before we practice what we discussed. then after that we'll take a break that will lead to more sitting around...occationally voicing out opinions.
i'm not saying i can do this all without play. yeah it's fun. but we can have fun and get the work done, in lesser time that we've been taking.
ok fine. that you've been taking, since i'm always not around.
i know i'm sounding like a right snobby bitch who just talks and talks without actually contributing anything. yeah maybe i am.
but if i say i really can't make meetings or stuff it means i can't.
you know i would if i could.
and i'm not like you all who just say 'oh i need to go for a meeting so i'll skip tuition and copy homework tomorrow.'
my mom isn't like yours who say 'oh. project? ok then you can skip this week. but make sure you get home on time.'
mine goes 'NO. you must go for tuition cos you're flunking horribly. by my standards. i want 70 over for all. look at how well your classmates are doing. 80 plus. if they can do it why can't you? you know your school is lousy compared to the other schools, so even if you're top in your school it's not enough cos you'll still be low compared to the other schools. so if' you're bad in an already bad school you're really pathetic you know? you might as well drop out. then i can go back to full time work. and i don't have to care about you waking up and going for tuition.'
1two.4three. 0six/0four/0eight.
@3:46:00 AM
♥ aelispeaks:
lala.
JADEYYYYYY.
TAG.
NOW.
WHY?
COS I SAID SO.
:D
anyway. I LOVE MY HORN SECTION JUNIORS.
ahem.
ok. correction.
I LOVE MY JUNIORS.
cannot be baised sia...anyway...all band sec 1s, enjoy THURSDAY'S band prac! :D you'll see why.
actually. enjoy ALL band pracs. including drills. they rock man. :D it's fun really. but my leg keeps cramping if we march on the spot too long. haha. anyway. gtg.
BYE.
0six.5six. 0five.0four.0eight
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